How to avoid being needy dating

Decide how much time and attention you want to give the relationship, and figure out how much you expect in return. If your expectations are reasonable, but you're always feeling let down or neglected, it might be time to find a new friend or significant other who makes you feel valued and cared for. Relationships aren't easy to balance - it often seems like one person is putting in more effort.

It's normal to have phases where one person is often busy and the other one seems to be calling and texting more. However, if this is a constant pattern in your relationship, and you don't think it's going to change, get out of the relationship before it hurts your self-esteem. Get busy doing other things. People who are busy simply don't have enough time to be needy; they're always preoccupied with other things, and guess what?

4 Ways to Stop Being Needy and Start Being Confident

Those other things are what make people more interesting friends and romantic partners. If you have nothing better to do than to wait for someone to call or write back, then you're probably bored and you know what they say - if you're bored, you're boring. What are you waiting for? Go for a run. Learn to oil paint. Put yourself out there, apply yourself, and have fun!

How to Save Yourself From Turning Needy with Someone New

All your worries will fall away, and if and when the person gets in touch, it'll be a delightful surprise, not a frantic relief! Call other people once in a while.

Focusing your life around just one person isn't good for your mental health or self-esteem. Call other people in your group of friends instead of pouring all your energy into one person! Get some people together to go to a movie or out to dinner, and don't spend the whole time worrying about that person. Enjoy all the other personalities that fill your life - you have room for more than one friend.

Know that it's OK to be single. Many people remain single and still enjoy their life to the fullest.


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They have freedom and fun, and in many cases they are just as happy as people in a relationship. The deeper truth is that having a relationship is a want, not a need. The problem comes when you make it a need and start believing that you can't survive without it. Say "I am strong," or "I have everything I need. Listening to music and watching movies about freedom and strength can also help. Work on your self-esteem. Odds are, if you struggle with neediness, you're probably a little lacking in the self-esteem department.

You might be looking for someone to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. Sure, it's okay for someone to make you happy, but if they're your only source of happiness, you might become angry or sad whenever they're not around, and that can be very demanding for the other person!

It makes them feel guilty, obligated and eventually, resentful towards you. One way to get rid of neediness is to prove to yourself that you don't need anyone by doing things by yourself, or being single, for an extended period of time, until you feel confident. Act like you want a best friend or significant other, but you definitely don't need them. Try not to seek out a new relationship until you're sure you won't fall into the same old patterns. Once you sort out what's going on inside, you can deal with any issues you might have relating to other people.

Neediness is often associated with a shortage of trust, and sometimes a fear of abandonment. When you find yourself doubting someone's feelings for you, or their loyalty, ask yourself why you don't trust them. Is it because they did something questionable?

go to link Or is it because someone in your past hurt you, and now you think this new person is going to do the same thing? If it's the latter, then remind yourself that it's not really fair to judge one person by another person's actions, is it? If you really care for this person, and they've earned your trust, give it to them. Reap the benefits of being independent.

Being secure and non-needy makes you more attractive. It's like a trick: Once you're really independent, you'll know it. You'll be confident enough to handle relationships without worrying excessively about what the other person thinks. You'll cherish your alone time as much as your time with the person you love. Understand that the human mind is inherently needy. Our mind is pretty hyperactive as it always wants to do or acquire something and when you don't have something to do that's when you feel needy or bored or frustrated.

Consequently, when you meet them, they seem non-needy and attractive. People who have good friends don't seem to be needy, especially when it comes to making new friends, because they already have that aspect of 'want' satisfied. Another example would be that people who enjoy their job come across as non-needy, especially while on the job because they are channeling their mind's hyperactivity through their job.

Similarly, if a guy is in a good relationship, he doesn't feel needy in front of other girls because he's already getting that 'want' satisfied from another person. As a result, he seems pretty non-needy and that's the reason other people feel attracted to him. It's a researched fact that guys who are already in a relationship are attractive to others [1]. What's the commonality in all of the above? They are all fleeting external factors. Which means remove that 'external factor' and the mind will become needy again, at least in that aspect.

This does not mean not to seek activities, go out with friends, have a relationship etc. True non-neediness comes when you stop seeking fulfillment externally because you realize that none of the fleeting external factors can satisfy you.

How to Stop Being Needy

You may continue to follow your passions, hang out with friends, relationships etc. You become simple and humble, like an ocean. If you are feeling uncertain, congratulations. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other.

By using this service, some information may be shared with YouTube. Tips Get absolutely comfortable with being alone first. Then your time will be more precious to you, and you'll be able to see the relationship more objectively. Being aggressive early on is a big turn-off. Learn to pace yourself and always take small steps in the beginning. Give yourself some time to be you.

Don't mould yourself to other people's expectations. This can give you a certain degree of freedom. Being too needy will only set you up for rejection, and that will lower your self-esteem, creating deeper loneliness.


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  6. Give the person space and respect their boundaries. If you love the person you are with, show them, but don't go overboard and don't force yourself on them, otherwise they could push you away.